You guys, I have a serious question.
How do you make friends when you’re an adult?
I think it’s easiest when you’re in college. College is a built-in friend fest. You go to your neighbors’ house and watch Grey’s Anatomy and eat chocolate chip cookies every single week, just because you live next to each other and you’re the same age. You talk to people at your school’s gym, because you probably have friends in common and can talk about easy things, like professors or the stupid housing lottery system that got you stuck sharing a bedroom your sophomore year, instead of living the dream off-campus. You join six groups and clubs and have built-in bridesmaids and friends for life. You start a Wednesday tradition at the local brewery, before the city is named Beer City USA, and the tradition is still going strong. You go to your school’s college prom and your date takes too long to get ready and makes you eat alone. You have cottage weekends at the lake, trips to the beach to sleep under the stars, crafting nights, leadership retreats, coffee dates. You go on spring break trips to Sarasota to paint murals and Miami but who even remembers what we did on that trip (built houses?). You spend your weekends falling in love with the male counselors and staff at a camp and getting paid like $100 a week but YOU DON’T CARE because it’s the most amazing time of your life. You join a Younglife team and meet incredible leaders, and together you love on and mentor high school students, and maybe go to Tigers games or have Christmas parties and play the Newlywed Game. There’s an entire block of your Campus Ministry friends in Campus View, for crying out loud, and I don’t know how any of you got any homework done or even passed your classes because there were ALWAYS birthdays or holiday movie marathons or themed parties or football games or trips to the only restaurant nearby.
It’s tougher in high school. Everyone cares so much about what they’re doing, saying, wearing. You’ve also know these people SINCE KINDERGARTEN and you know those elementary school cliques die hard. There’s no getting out and no breaking in. You’re also all kind of sick of each other, since you’ve seen the same faces for 12,350 hours of your entire school career. That’s right, I just did the math.
It’s alright when you start your first career job, especially if you work somewhere with a lot of other people fresh out of college. You’ll go out and hit the bar scenes on weekdays, because you’re still young and have energy. You’ll have barbecues and dinner parties and girls’ nights, because most of you are still single, or have a semi-serious boyfriend but still prioritize social time, or just running Tinder game (who am I kidding… Tinder wasn’t around during this time, or I would have used it).
Then you hit this weird age, maybe around 25, where the friend differences are vast. People are having babies (multiple babies), getting married, getting engaged. People are still single. People are dating. People are buying houses, getting promotions, traveling for work. Your Snapchat is full of puppy snaps instead of flirty messages with guys. Your Instagram is all engagement rings and those baby pictures with the paper circles that say how many months old the kid is. Your Facebook is full of people aggressively adding you to Lularoe groups and trying to sell you Beachbody products and posting happy-fifth-wedding-anniversary photo albums from a cruise ship in the Mediterranean. It seems the only time people actually like your pictures is when you get a promotion or decide to move to another state. There is probably never a time of life where you’ll have this huge gap of different life stages.
People are creating families, building houses, progressing in their careers, and finding what works best for them – that’s amazing. Everyone is busy busy busy.
But then you hit this age, omg THIRTY, where people are hanging out with friends less and family more. Jobs and babies take up a LOT of time. But what if you’re thirty and childless? How do you meet other people or couples like you, who are still down for a game night or wine and cheese party or dinner out (as long as we’re home by ten so we can binge watch Girls, am I right?)
And what if you just moved, to a state or a city where you have no contacts? What if you’re self-employed or work at a small job and there’s no one you really click with?
How do you make friends then?
My plan usually is to spend a few hours signing up for really amazing Meetup groups – 20-30’s Girlfriends? Sounds amazing! An outdoor Epic Living adventure group, a cooking club, an intuitive life project… I’ll be meditating and camping in national parks in NO TIME! I’m going to make myself go and I’m going to make all these friends.
HAHA. And then I don’t.
I get the notifications. I think the events sound cool. I’m sure I would have fun if I went.
But I don’t.
So I’m wondering what you do to make friends when you’re in this 25-35 year-old limbo? How do you find like-minded people who aren’t wanting to go clubbing all night but don’t want to just be home every night, either? Especially if you’ve moved somewhere and don’t have your high school or college friends around. Please leave me your best tips in the comments!
While I’ve been home lurking on my Meetup app and cooking abundance bowls, I got these amazing new leggings which I plan to never take off again. I’m obsessed with the colors and the cutouts… I love them!
I got them at a store that was closing, but here are some similar ones. I AM SUCH A SUCKER for mesh panels and cut outs. I think they’re so cute and fun.
Click the photos to check them out.
Whenever I’m cooking something like this abundance bowl, I always make too much and wish I had people close by to come over and help me eat it.
I used my Instant Pot to make some of the parts of this meal.
Click here to read my post on why I love it, or click the photo below to check out prices and get yours!
You Will Need:
-1 small crown of broccoli
-1/2 red onion
-2 beets, one red and one yellow
-1 large parsnip
-1 purple sweet potato (or regular)
-8 large Brussels sprouts
-1c white rice
-Salt and pepper, to taste
Turmeric Ginger Cashew Cream:
-1c raw cashews
-1 inch knob fresh turmeric
-1 garlic clove
-1 inch knob fresh ginger
-1/8t sea salt
A note for modifications: Use cauliflower rice for Whole 30 or paleo (unless you’re #teamwhiterice). For low-histamine, cashews are not considered low, but everything else in the recipe is. You can sub some white or kidney beans for the cashews.
- Preheat your oven to 425.
- Start cooking your rice according to the directions. *I threw mine in the Instant Pot with 1.75c of water and put it on Manual (high) for 7 minutes. Cauliflower rice users, just put it in a frying pan with a little bit of water or oil, and cook until it’s tender.
- Add 1c water to another pot and start it boiling on the stove. Once it’s boiling, dump your cup of cashews in there and turn off the burner, letting them soak for about twenty minutes. *IP users, when my rice was done, I put in 1c cashews with 1c water and put it on Manual (high) for 5 minutes, then quick-released.
- Put some parchment paper on a baking sheet and peel, chop, and dice all your veggies.
- Line ’em up on your baking sheet and drizzle olive oil over them. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Put them in the oven until they’re all cooked through. It took about 20 minutes for me, but my sweet potatoes needed a few minutes longer.
- Put your soaked cashews and the leftover water into your food processor.
- Zest or grate your turmeric, ginger, and garlic. Add that to the processor with the salt and pepper. You can add a little squeeze of lemon here, if you wish.
- Process that cashew sauce for at least two minutes, or until it’s fairly smooth. If it’s not thin enough, add a little more water or some almond/cashew milk.
- Taste it and adjust any spices according to your palette.
- Assemble your bowls! Rice, then veggies, then the sauce on top.
As always, I serve all my meals with an iced chai with almond milk because I’m obsessed and I have a problem.
Let me know in the comments your best tips for making adult friends, and also if you made this or plan to make it! I’m super happy to have leftovers of this for the next few days. ALSO these organic blackberries were $1.99 at Sprouts. I love that place. <3
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Talk to you soon!
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